7 Ways to Stop Allowing Your Emotions Control Your Life.

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Why can’t things go my way? Why can’t it happen the way I imagined? Not again, why now? Ugh this is so frustrating, I quit!

I know too well of overreacting to my inconveniences and allowing my bag of emotions take over me and causing me to react than reflect. We live in such a fast-paced world that we do not allow ourselves to really sit at the time inconvenience happens. We just react and self-wallow in the negativity it brings and allow ourselves to shut down and give up. We get overworked by the “wasting” time or the change of plans it brings.

Our world has accustomed to such a fast, want it now, type society. Patience is hard to come by because everybody expects quick/fast regardless of the circumstances. Trust me, I am guilty of getting frustrated with my phone connections at times especially when I’m doing something important. We have all been there more than once, I promise.

Living and accustoming to this new world we live in can be overwhelming. We need to keep up with the times, the updates, the newest products, etc. We feel a sense of anxiousness everywhere we go. We may feel like we aren’t allowed to hold space because we just want to get in and get out.

We don’t ever just sit and really observe our surroundings. We may just ignore the fact that the day is beautiful and that you are simply living.

Yes the kids are a handful. We think of the twenty things going on in our brains 24/7. We have our to do lists, our expectations, plans, and everything else to worry about. But we start to lose ourselves the more we add to our plates. The way we do things end up being chaotic. We tend to feel more restless because we figure we aren’t doing enough as it is.

I can tell you this past year and a half of being a stay at home mom has brought out so many challenges for myself. I was the one to be busy all the time and having to do the next best thing because I didn’t want to feel like I was missing out on the world.

My world changed last year. When my depression came back full force and felt like my world was ending, I turned to God. I honestly didn’t know who else to turn to. I lost friends, family, and I was home alone with two kids (one being a few months old at the time). I was falling apart. I was lonely. I was scared. My behaviors were not getting better and my mental health was at its last straw.

But by the grace of God, I was able to find my strength to get me out of this depression. I was able to do some real self-reflection and allow myself to heal for once.

I started reflecting on my behaviors. I started to dissect my emotions and truly feel them instead of suppressing them. I’ve made great progress in learning to control my emotions.

What I’ve learned is that most of my emotions derived from my past. I spent years covering up my true feelings in order to please others. I never spoke my mind or even spoke about my past to make sure tension was never occurring. Years of suppressing your feelings can cause you to have major outbursts when that volcano starts erupting inside you. Years of bottled emotions can really put you in a bad spot.

You need to learn to stop letting your emotions control you. Here are some ways you can start weaving through your emotions and self-reflect on them:

1. Figure out why you are having outburst or certain behaviors that cause you to become raged. Figuring out where these emotions are coming from will allow you to find the peace you deserve.

2. Allow God to really seek your heart in your troubles. Pray to Him in order to get whatever it is off your chest. Read His word. Allow your heart to be filled with love and grace.

3. Listen to worship music and feel the words. Allow yourself to have a good cry. There is nothing wrong with showing emotions. We are humans. We feel and need to validate how we feel even if it is just by ourselves.

4. Find a therapist/counselor/small group. Asking for help is not shameful. Do not feel as if you aren't worthy of help because you are.

5. Take time to practice deep breath exercises when you feel your emotions rising. They can come on so strong and sudden, but when we recognize and step away to take a breather it will allow us to become in control. Reflect on this incident and figure out what triggered you.

6. It’s a habit that takes time to implement. When we are so used to reacting and not really paying attention to the “why” we can sometimes end up really hurting others and even ourselves in the end. But even if something happens, you are not a bad person. Take it as a learning experience and move on.

7. Stop holding onto the past. Yes, that’s a huge thing for me as well. Past feelings do not have a place for your present. Yes, there may be some feelings inside that heart of yours that is hard to let go but find your strength with God’s word in order to help close that part of your life. It can trigger some old memories or trauma but give it to God. Allow yourself to heal those burdens.

As a huge reminder, if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts or dark depression. reach out for help or call 1-800-273-8255 immediately. Please don't ever feel like you are lost and can't be helped. God will help you find your way and the right people to help you.

So much love and God bless.

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life and have it abundantly. John 10:10 ESV